


Dream State

by obsolete_theory (ersatzbeta)



Category: Saiyuki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-05
Updated: 2011-11-05
Packaged: 2017-10-25 17:22:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ersatzbeta/pseuds/obsolete_theory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hakkai dreams.</p><p>Written (at the time, anonymously) for LJ's saiyukianonkink meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream State

**Author's Note:**

> This one's short but sweet.
> 
> The original prompt was as follows: "Hakkai has a wet dream about Gojyo fucking Kanan while he watches. Entirely PWP, though if you want to include the aftermath, where Hakkai wakes up and freaks out because WHAT ON EARTH DID THAT DREAM MEAN? That would be beyond acceptable and into the realms of encouraged. And if you want to make that lead to some IRL Gojyo/Hakkai, that would also be not frowned upon in the slightest."

Hakkai dreams. Hakkai dreams he is Gonou. Hakkai dreams he is Gonou because Kanaan is alive. Kanaan is alive, therefore he must be Gonou.

Except.

Gonou is really Gojyo. He is Gojyo because he—Hakkai, Gonou—has long red hair that falls across his shoulders. Bare shoulders.

Gojyo is in bed with Kanaan, in the bed of their little cottage. Hakkai watches from outside, no, through the ceiling which has gone transparent.

Gojyo rolls over and covers Kanaan with his body. She blinks her eyes open and presses her mouth to his: lips, tongue, her lashes brushing against his cheek.

Kanaan hums a song Hakkai once heard when he was small. She spreads her legs and draws Gojyo in. And because Gonou is Gojyo is Hakkai, he feels her around him: soft, wet, sticky at the inner thigh. He reaches down to where they are joined and he strokes the soft hair and softer skin.

Strange. He's well-read, worldly, and yet it is the missionary position he shares with Kanaan, this basic coming together that makes him feel closest to her.

Kanaan exhales with no sound. Her breath sweeps across his neck.

"Go—" she says. "Yes. Oh, yes, _please_."

And he watches Gojyo pull back and sink into her again, and he feels the hot, wet slide even as he sees Kanaan's hands go tight across Gojyo's back. She whispers his name and Hakkai can't tell which of his names she says. Maybe she says nothing at all. Maybe she has given him a new name. Her nails dig into Gojyo's skin.

Gojyo flexes his hips, lowers his head to Kanaan's breasts and lavishes attention on them. Hakkai's mouth waters and he swallows, sure at any second Gojyo will realize he's in the room watching him sweat and drive into the woman who might have been his wife if there'd been time enough.

Maybe Gojyo will realize they are the same person.

Hakkai feels full to overflowing, needing just a little more friction between his body and Kanaan's. His hair gets in his face and he pushes it back, marveling at the texture, the length, the sheer bright color of it.

Gojyo's buttocks clench with every move, muscles rolling under his tanned skin. Even there, he is tanned, and the backs of his thighs as well. His arms are corded with the strain of holding himself back, and Kanaan's nails leave behind white half-moons that darken to red. Gojyo is beautiful like this. He cants his hips and Hakkai follows the course of beads of sweat: it rolls off Gojyo's nose and falls from his face to the shadow between Kanaan's breasts. It courses from the small of his back to the valley between the cheeks of his buttocks in a slippery vee. The moisture picks out the scars on Gojyo's cheek. Sweat even touches the soles of his feet, and Hakkai is sure he's never seen a more perfect pair.

He feels orgasm like a hot wire in his gut—coiled, poised to spring at any moment. It's almost like the pain of having his belly flayed open again, except he is alive and he is Gojyo and he therefore can save himself. Not that he needs saving, not from this. _She_ is gloriously, amazingly alive, too, and he saves her, over and over, his flesh sliding along hers, inside her, her breath escaping and washing over his face, stirring the long bangs that try to stick to his cheekbones. He pushes his hair back with a wrist and grits his teeth, trying to hang on. He kisses her fully, his tongue twining with hers, his lips on hers, his teeth catching on her bottom lip as the kiss breaks.

"Gojyo," says Kanaan, and it's like she is speaking his orgasm into being.

"Please, _Gojyo_."

He looks into her face and comes.

 

Hakkai wakes, lathered in sweat and an erection flagging in his hand. He's lying face down in his sleeping bag, both hand and sticky mess trapped between his body and the unforgiving ground.

The fire is down to coals, and there's only the creeping hint of false dawn. Hakkai stares across the darkness of the camp to the lump of blankets he knows is Gojyo. He wonders if he's been noisy enough to disturb him, if Gojyo would think it was one of his nightmares or recognize the dream for what it was. He wonders if he's said Kanaan's name.

He wonders if he's said Gojyo's.

Hakkai is caught between the urge to clean up, now, to destroy the evidence, and the urge to simply roll over and go back to dreaming. He's a fastidious person but, at the same time, doesn't want to risk rousing anyone else. The mess in his pajamas is so obvious, so incriminating that Hakkai doesn't know what he'd do if he were confronted.

So, still in the sleeping bag, he sheds his pajama bottoms and his briefs, and he balls both items up in the toe of the bag. His pajama shirt is long enough to pass muster in the morning if he's quick about it, if he's the first one up to bathe and dress. He can sneak his soiled clothing into the laundry and no one will be the wiser.

Hakkai rolls onto his side so that he's facing Gojyo‘s direction. He closes his eyes, and he tries not to think how easy it would be to drift back to where Kanaan and Gojyo are, tangled in the sheets of the long-ago bed, skin gleaming with sweat and begging for touch…

Hakkai dreams.


End file.
